The extrovert friend taking their autistic buddies to the mall
here's my cat for your dash btw. if you even care
[ID: a photo with transparent background, of a cat laying on her side. end ID]
i have to do everything around here
HOW ABOUT YOU MIND YOUR BUSINESS
Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.
This but it's my partner taking an art history class in college and the professor looking at them like they grew a second head when they answered "What came out of Jesus' wound when he was stabbed on the cross" with "...Blood?"
Additions that prove my point by mystifying me because what on earth would come out of a nail wound besides blood. Are you telling me it was something besides blood. What was jesus full of that wasn't blood. You guys are scaring me
Apparently it was water?? I guess he was also stabbed on top of being crucified (which feels like overkill imo) and water came out, which was a huge deal in medieval symbolism and also to my medieval poetry professor, who was genuinely shocked and upset that I didn’t know. This man fully docked me points because I, a whole ass Jew, hadn’t somehow heard about the secret waterballoon Jesus lore that I guess everyone is supposed to like… intuit
On the plus side, it does lead to some absolutely wild medieval Jesus art of angels tapping him like a fucking keg
a friend of a friend went to go see passion of the christ for kicks without knowing anything about the story
when jesus was hauled up on the cross he turned to my friend and said, in all evident sincerity, 'i know they're not going to kill the main character but how's jesus getting out of this one?'
we are gonna be vacuuming up this post for the next five years
It almost looked like they threw a fish upwards into water (the shadowiness of their hand) & it swam off causing a splash of glitter.
Let service industry workers say “fuck” please
I used to work at a sandwich place that also did lattes n stuff. We’d get nasty customers every once in a while, and when we did, we got to unleash Neal. Let me explain...no, it is too much, let me sum up:
The manager moved from the deep south to get this job, he’d been looking for a job in the PNW, and he somehow talked the owners into letting his platonic life mate, Neal, be the Assist Manager. So he, his wife, and his BFF forever come and take over this shop but the owners must not have actually...spoken...to Neal. He was INSANE. I mean, I never had trouble with him, but he frightened the new girls with his crazy eyes, liked knives way too much and looked like one of those tiny white guys who was spoiling for a fight and couldn’t back it up...except he could. 500 pounds of crazy in a 120 pound bag, you might say. But he was perfect, PERFECT for jerk customers who bullied new girls. Here’s an example:
So one day, I’m schlepping sandwiches, and I see the new coffee girl just...get yelled at by this big dude, who seemed way too comfortable yelling at strangers in front of other strangers in a line behind him, and maybe, if this had been somewhere else, he would have gotten away with it, because I have noticed strangers let randos yell at hapless teen college student girls who are tiny and just trying to get a buck man wow that is a whole ass THING anyway I stepped away from my sandwich, went into the back where Neal was slicing vegetables happily with a knife and tapped him in for an intervention.
My man Neal steps out from the back with knife in hand, bless. Steps up to the front and watching the chain reaction of coworkers hiding smiles, customers get big eyes, the new girl being alarmed and confused, and the big dude yelling just...not knowing what was about to happen was this...free show I just ate up om nom nom.
He does the managerial, what seems to be the problem (knife in hand), guy yells, wants his money back. Neal is all, so sorry, sure you can have money back (knife in hand slowly moving), guy yells, new girl steps back, unsure. Neal is all, but you can’t yell, sir, this a place of business, can’t we be reasonable (knife finally rest on counter, now Neal goes for his apron strings uh oh), and all the workers know this means Neal is about to be able to claim he was on break when he punched this guy.
Snacks are coming out. Tea is being drunk. Sandwiches are not being made. The whole place is bated breath on the free show. This is prime popcorn.gif territory irl.
Neal asks the dude to step outside, and the dude goes out! Big plate glass windows, everyone can see but not hear as the beast is unleashed. Neal is up in his grill, not touching, waiting just waiting for the yelling big dude to make the first point of contact. And folks, I am here to tell you that dumbass pushed Neal first and wow have you ever seen a hunting terrier just go for the ankles and take a beast down? It was like that. This guys chickened out so fast from the force of the maniac Assist Mngr ‘on his break’ and it was a beautiful thing to watch. Dude never came back, and the new girl was way more comfortable after that.
So hey. If you ever talk your way into running a shop where you know assholes are going to be mean to your workers, make sure to bring your feral best friend with the crazy eyes who likes knives way too much to defend them.
Think about how much you love the little gay people in your phone. It's nice right?
You are the little gay person in someone else's phone. Peace and love ect.
im also a little gay person in someones phone?
In a world of convenience and e-dispensers, my university’s food court has a ketchup bowl
I posted this well over 7 years ago why and how the hell is this making rounds now
each time i see someone writing “puppy” as “pupper” im deeply disturbed because pupper means boobs in norwegian
apologies to everyone who didnt realise this until now
bonus: “rare pupper” literally translates to “weird boobs”
official boob post
I know I've been over this but man HRT is good stuff. I wanna shake the hand of whoever invented it. It's a crime that I don't know who that is actually. They're more important than Einstein
id also been really curious about the history of hrt so i had some tabs open:
The first hrt treatments were mostly estrogen extracted during pregnancies to be used for menopause symptoms, but the first usage of those medicines for trans women is credited to the world's first Trans Clinic, opened in pre-WW2 Germany by Magnus Hirschfield, a gay jewish man.
Oh he looks delightful
Thank you grandpa
The comparasion to Einstein was actually made at the time too! He was commonly refered to as “the Einstein of sex”, to which he supposedly once replied that he would rather Einstein be called “the Hirschfeld of physics” lmao
Oh my god